Wednesday, June 13, 2007

China's Surname Woes & its unforeseen problems

Taken from

BEIJING: With more than a billion people now sharing just 100
surnames, Chinese authorities are considering a landmark move to try and end the
confusion, state media reported on Tuesday. [...]
[...]Under a new draft regulation released by the ministry of
public security, parents will be able to combine their surnames for their
children, a move that could open up 1.28 million new possibilities, the China
Daily newspaper said.
For instance, a father named Zhou and mother named Zhu could
choose to call their child either Zhou, Zhu, Zhouzhu or Zhuzhou, the report
added. [...]

Do you know what that means? A whole lot of mismatched new surnames!!
There is sure bound to be funny combinations popping up.

According to what I gathered from the barflies in the bar, here are some funny combinations contributed by them:
Huang + Li = HuangLi (Pineapple in chinese)
Tan + Gao = TanGao (cake in chinese)
Toh + Cai + Tao = Toh Cai Tao ('cut carrot head' in dialect) [give the English name Robert for better effect: TohCaiTao Robert]
Mo + Li = MoLi [given name = Ka Chen]
Lee + Lee = LeeLee [given name = Lily Lili]
Chia + Chia = ChiaChia [sounds like Cha Cha]
See + See = SeeSee [now how sissy can the guy get?]
See + Gao = SeeGao [dead dog in dialect]
See + Wang = SeeWang [hope in chinese]
Wu + Long = WuLong [blur in chinese]
Wu + Gui = WuGui [turtle in chinese]
Long + Gan = Longgan ['nuff said]
Lau + Sai = LauSai [so Andy Lau shldn't date a taiwanese tribal gal]
Chee + Bai = Chee..[you know the rest]

So Dr. Chee better not go China and get married to a woman surnamed Bai.
Or he'll be a even bigger laughing stock.

But it could be very messy in the future.
Not to mention, think of the poor folks 2 or more generations downwards when their parents with 2 or more surnames marry each other.
Imagine a LeeLee marries another LeeLee and call their daughter Lily, Lizhen.
Think about what could happen when she goes to the doctor and tells the nurse her name.
Lizhen: "I'm Lily LeeLeeLeeLee Lizhen."
Nurse: "WTF?! Oei dun come here kajiao else I call police."
Lizhen: -_-

Get my point? Besides, think of that poor kid of Mr Chow & Ms SeeSee.
That poor son of theirs will be ChowSeeSee Robert/Alex/god-knows-wtf-guy's-name...

So pls... Have a cap on the number of combined surnames you can freaking have in a name.
You don't want to have your kid's surname longer than their own name.
That sucks, especially in exam.

*update* Thanks to Vincent for this latest contribution of Andy Lau + Sai Mei Mei...

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