Financial freedom..or shackles
With the wedding and all those nonsense out of the way, I guess there's something that I should confess: I'm in debt.
Nope, it's not because of the wedding. In fact the wedding was a fairly budget but fun event with the average budget breakdown (+ all those other random nonsense) amounting to as such:
- Wedding photoshoot = $5.2k
- Actual day photographer = $1k
- Balloon decorations = $0.5k
- Wedding banquet = $10.3k (marginally above budgeted of 9k + GST)
- misc items = $1k
But these are not the key concerns as they are already taken care of before the wedding. Rather, the debt that I speak of is credit card debt. I must confess that I'm quite the spendthrift in the 1st few years when I first started work and owned several credit cards.
It has been like 1-2 years since I'm knee-deep in debt and everytime the bonus comes along, somehow there will always be large item expenditures (eg diamond ring, maldive trip, etc) that comes in place. This debt initially started when I contemplated borrowing on credit to invest in stocks. Having a return of 8-10% then within 3-6 months period seems very attractive given that I'm financing at 1.5-2.5%.
But the problem all started when I liquidated the stocks but did not pay back all the proceeds. With spare cash in hand, you tend to spend them on online shopping, drinking and other stuff. Or so you get the drift.
So at various stages in life, I was splurging on things like sunglasses (had like 4-6 pairs of Oakleys), online shopping (that explains the shitload of Adidas gear I have), shoes (many running shoes), all those Bandai toys and other misc items.
In short, I have been shackled instead of achieving a certain degree of financial freedom. And without a doubt, that left me with little choice but to sit things out and wait for the debt to be cleared while cutting down on my spendings. To date, I'm looking at around 30+k of debt to be cleared.
Let's see if I can achieve my intention of clearing all these debts by Aug. Perhaps this confession should serve as a red-flag and warning light to many other younger folks to practise financial prudence.
Labels: food for thought
Next milestone - Marriage
It's a pain in the ass, I swear. More update to come on this dreadful event called marriage, and how to cope with it (or die trying).
The blogging mojo
It is really hard to sustain an interest, I must admit. Hobby modelling kit was 1 of them, blogging was another. Anything that involves a challenge of some sort, I would usually dabble in them for awhile, before leaving them alone and revisiting them some time later.
Too many things to do, yet too little time. I guess that's what happens when we all join the rat race.
Looking back, I'm better off in terms of material and physical wealth, yet not any better off in terms of health and mental capacity. Every now and then, I felt that I've grew older yet not wiser.
It's funny that as I grow older, I seclude myself more from crowds and loses my ability to do any tedious calculations as compared to almost a decade ago. In fact, I realise I'm 1 year short of celebrating a decade of driving experience. So how's that for ageing?
I realise I may not be able to achieve all of these, but at least having something in mind's better than none at all:
1) Lose weight - I've "ballooned" to 79kg, which wasn't too bad given my height but this would skew my output/weight ratio. So let's aim for 75kg and keep it there yeah?
2) Drink less - looking back, I've been drinking almost every week. It's been a great drinking run, but I guess that contributed to (1) above as well. So let's see if I can cut it down by 25-30%?
3) Increase my income - going forward, I guess I am probably looking towards a career switch. Hopefully, I can realise my hope of having a 10% increment for the next job.
4) Be happy - somehow, it's just that darn hard to do so.
Random every now and then
Don't be afraid to speak up, or to pursue your dreams.
For failing to do so, may leave you regrets and remorse for not trying.
Life is short. Don't make it worse by not pursuing your personal goals.
With each passing day, I'm feeling the heat of my new role.
Now that I'm a senior, I can no longer feign ignorance of many tasks, nor can I pretend not to care about the engagement.
This is the moment when all hell broke loose, and I start to have to deal with many administrative matters such as:
1) arranging for planning meeting & initial client meetings,
2) liasing with partner's secretaries to meet the partners,
3) talking with CFOs and CEOs and head of departments (oh wait, I already did some of these),
staff on engagement & manage manpower requirements
5) and all other random shit.
All this while multi-managing several engagements at the same time. Little wonders why I'm getting the jitter.
Unfortunately, all these piles on and stresses me out prematurely.
I need a beer. Like.right.now.
Meanwhile, let's aim to cap OT hours for the FY under 100hrs...
In case you're wondering, yes I'm not dead yet.
Just back from an operation & recuperating as I type.
Guess when 1 ain't in the mood, all hell breaks loose.
When life gives you lemons...
Yes you can make lemonades outta them. But I would prefer to hurl them at the !^$#%@! who gave them to me. ^_^
Truth be told, I just want to sit around in my singlet and boxer shorts, and do nothing.
The inertia was simply too great. A couple of months ago when liquidblade briefly came back online, I contemplated retrieving and porting old entries over back to blogspot. I didn't.
Fast-forward to now, liquidblade is kind of dead now. If there's anyone to blame, it would probably be myself. A certain senior told me that I should have done so, as it is a reflection of myself and the growth I've experienced, the experiences I've been through.
Sometimes, escapism takes over the driver seat and all things spirals out of control. Right now, I am escaping from these problems.
Deep within, I know that I have self-condemned by behaviour.
Deep within, I desire for love and redemption.
Deep within, I know my other half loves me.
Yet deep within, I can't forgive myself for every other random things I have done.
Forgetting and Forgiving is too hard, when Hatred has sank its fangs deep within a corner of my heart.
Deep within, I seek salvation. And more importantly, a lasting inner peace.