2012 resolutions
Looking back, I'm better off in terms of material and physical wealth, yet not any better off in terms of health and mental capacity. Every now and then, I felt that I've grew older yet not wiser.
It's funny that as I grow older, I seclude myself more from crowds and loses my ability to do any tedious calculations as compared to almost a decade ago. In fact, I realise I'm 1 year short of celebrating a decade of driving experience. So how's that for ageing?
I realise I may not be able to achieve all of these, but at least having something in mind's better than none at all:
1) Lose weight - I've "ballooned" to 79kg, which wasn't too bad given my height but this would skew my output/weight ratio. So let's aim for 75kg and keep it there yeah?
2) Drink less - looking back, I've been drinking almost every week. It's been a great drinking run, but I guess that contributed to (1) above as well. So let's see if I can cut it down by 25-30%?
3) Increase my income - going forward, I guess I am probably looking towards a career switch. Hopefully, I can realise my hope of having a 10% increment for the next job.
4) Be happy - somehow, it's just that darn hard to do so.
Labels: resolutions
Random every now and then
Don't be afraid to speak up, or to pursue your dreams.
For failing to do so, may leave you regrets and remorse for not trying.
Life is short. Don't make it worse by not pursuing your personal goals.
Uncertainty
With each passing day, I'm feeling the heat of my new role.
Now that I'm a senior, I can no longer feign ignorance of many tasks, nor can I pretend not to care about the engagement.
This is the moment when all hell broke loose, and I start to have to deal with many administrative matters such as:
1) arranging for planning meeting & initial client meetings,
2) liasing with partner's secretaries to meet the partners,
3) talking with CFOs and CEOs and head of departments (oh wait, I already did some of these),
4) booking
slaves staff on engagement & manage manpower requirements
5) and all other random shit.
All this while multi-managing several engagements at the same time. Little wonders why I'm getting the jitter.
Unfortunately, all these piles on and stresses me out prematurely.
I need a beer. Like.right.now.
Meanwhile, let's aim to cap OT hours for the FY under 100hrs...
*glare*
In case you're wondering, yes I'm not dead yet.
Just back from an operation & recuperating as I type.
Guess when 1 ain't in the mood, all hell breaks loose.
Bah.
When life gives you lemons...
Yes you can make lemonades outta them. But I would prefer to hurl them at the !^$#%@! who gave them to me. ^_^
Inertia
Truth be told, I just want to sit around in my singlet and boxer shorts, and do nothing.
The inertia was simply too great. A couple of months ago when liquidblade briefly came back online, I contemplated retrieving and porting old entries over back to blogspot. I didn't.
Fast-forward to now, liquidblade is kind of dead now. If there's anyone to blame, it would probably be myself. A certain senior told me that I should have done so, as it is a reflection of myself and the growth I've experienced, the experiences I've been through.
Sometimes, escapism takes over the driver seat and all things spirals out of control. Right now, I am escaping from these problems.
Salvation
Deep within, I know that I have self-condemned by behaviour.
Deep within, I desire for love and redemption.
Deep within, I know my other half loves me.
Yet deep within, I can't forgive myself for every other random things I have done.
Forgetting and Forgiving is too hard, when Hatred has sank its fangs deep within a corner of my heart.
Deep within, I seek salvation. And more importantly, a lasting inner peace.
Flashbacks
I dreamt of an weird accident, whereby a motorbike collided against a car and flew towards me and I had to evade it.
Turning back and see, folks around gotten killed and injured, and I was frantically trying to save them. Even 995 and 911 didn't help, as the line just couldn't get through.
Shocked, scared, anxious and panicky, I have no idea what to do or how to help to save them.
I wonder what this dream is all about.
Labels: random ranting
Food for thought
俗话说的好： 幸福是建立在他人的牺牲上。
So is your happiness obtained via other's sacrifices?
Irony...
It's kinda sad not to be blogging actively or even taking an occasional peek at your own blog. Afterall, it's like a recollection of the good & bad, the ups & downs, the erection & the errectile dysfunction. Not exactly the last bit, but you get the picture yeah?
And what more can be worst, when your main blog fails and you have to fall back to your original blog. zzz.
Oh well. *brush dust off blogspot*
